Goodbye JPA

My parting gift to you, JP, is this video.

Behold the splendor that is "THE BELOW REPLACEMENT LEVEL HULK":

Space Jays 2: The Wrath of Zaun

Back in March I made a movie called Space Jays.

March was a good time to be a Blue Jays fan. Before the taint of 2013 took hold, we all looked forward to watching Josh Johnson dominate; we all thought Melky Cabrera would prove to the world he wasn't being held together by PEDs; we all loved Metric's Stadium Love.

Since March the world has become a much darker place.

Back when I made Space Jays, it's unbridled optimism made sense. That kind of thinking doesn't work today.

So I'm rebooting Space Jays in it's sequel.

I'm making it darker... grittier.

Enjoy this trailer:

Also, enjoy the original Space Jays:

And since you're here, if you're a Toronto sports fan you might as well watch this:

Absolute Nonsense: Both Gregg Zaun's Air Pressure Claims and this Video

As proven yesterday, Gregg Zaun was almost certainly ill informed when he suggested the removal of Windows' windows led to an increase in Rogers' Centre home runs. 

That, combined with yet another disappointing Jays game today, left me in a strange head-space today. 

And I started thinking about what really could be behind the large number of homers. 

And much like Zaun, I made wild, ill-informed assumptions, based on the first things that popped in my head. 

Unlike Zaun, the first thing that popped in my head wasn't piss-poor science.  

It was real science. 

And baseball memorabilia. 

And Gregg Zaun himself.

And also Kraftwerk. 

The Lost Blue Jays 8 Bit Old School Nintendo Video Game

I had this crazy dream the other night.

In it, I was playing a video game on an old school NES. And that video game was about the 2013 Blue Jays.

So I jumped on ebay, poked around for a bit, and sure enough, was able to track it down.

I have no idea how someone was able to predict what I'm sure will be the fate of the Jays this year, but dammit if this doesn't look pretty accurate.

Except I don't think Lind will get as many at bats.

But other than that, I think it's pretty bang on.