Deciphering Tweets about the Toronto Blue Jays: Mike Wilner

This didn't really work out like I thought it would. Next time I do this, I'm making sure completely read the tweet before making a video. I could have sworn it said something about AA dressed like a cowboy. 

Who said R.A. Dickey is going to be a Blue Jay?

So my weekend was kind of ruined by the fact that RA Dickey is apparently going to be a Toronto Blue Jay.

I seriously spent at least 8 hours watching Twitter, in a mall's food court, while pretending to Christmas shop, waiting for the allegedly immanent trade to become official.

Ironically, neither the trade nor my Christmas shopping is done.

It got me thinking, though. Who is telling Ken Rosenthal et al about these trades?

Is it someone from the Jays? If so, who? How close are they? Are they THIS close:

Is Anthopoulos' "Comfort" Turning the Jays into Meg Ryan?

People believe Alex Anthopoulos is making a lot of phone calls on behalf of the Toronto Blue Jays.
Unfortunately the way things have been going for the Jays he'd have better luck calling radio talk shows in search of a wife for Tom Hanks.  

Last year I set about trying to drum up interest in a tent-pole blockbuster about your 2011 Toronto Blue Jays.

At the time I pegged Terrence Malick to direct, thinking he’d be willing to change pace from his usual visually-stunning-but-boring-as-hell style to take on the Blue Jays tale. Early reports of Tree of Life being a massive turd made me think he’d want a change of pace.

Well apparently my sources were wrong, as Tree of Life is being ranked amongst the best movies of the year. I refuse to see it out of the fact I know it’s going to a narcoleptic’s wet dream (anyone familiar with Malick’s work who disagrees with me is a liar).

But that got me thinking: what if the Blue Jays story isn’t a sprawling epic?

What if it’s actually a romantic comedy?

Directed by Nora Ephron..

What do I mean?

So What Comes Next (or is Man Ram or Ram Man the Next Logical Move for the Jays)?

Ram Man's real name is Rammy Manirez. Seriously. I'm not making this shit up. Topps don't lie.

If you're like me, you woke up on Tuesday December 20th with a raging hangover. One of those "leave work early and tell everyone it's because you think you're getting bronchitis" type hangovers.

Why was I were you hungover, you ask?

Simple. You stayed up 'til midnight boozing, only to hear your 2012 Toronto Blue Jays failed to win the Yu Darvish sweepstakes, and are now down one marquee player.
Ok, they're not DOWN per se (they didn't lose Bautista) but thanks to our reliable traditional media friends (found here, here and here) we all expected the Jays to land the best pitcher the world has ever seen, so it kinda feels like we're down.

So who/what do the Jays do now? Well a lot of people are talking a lot of Manny Ramirez. And maybe that's the logical next step. His performance enhancing drug suspension has come to an end, and he has stated his intention to return to the game. The very same game that helped pay for his legal fees after this incident.

Wait... I apologize, that was in bad form.

But come on, who am I kidding, Toronto loves their athletes most when they have a history of domestic violence.

So the big question now: "Should the Jays sign Man Ram?"

And the logical extension to this question: "Should the Jays sign Masters of the Universe character Ram Man instead?"

Well, read on to see a few thoughts on who can offer more to Anthopoulos and his mighty Jays.