Monday, May 16, 2011

Who will Play the 2011 Blue Jays? Part 1

(Part 2 can be found here, Part 3 can be found here)

A number of people have asked where I've been the last few days.

Well, I have some good news for all Blue Jays fans out there.
After months of preparation, my 2011 Toronto Blue Jays-centric screenplay is complete.

And damn is it good. I mean really good. Like, Oscar-worthy good.

Now normally I'd feel comfortable directing this myself. It's my baby and all. But it's so good that I'd be comfortable handing it off to someone with a little bit more experience.

What's that, Terrence Malick? Tree of Life bombed at Cannes? Sure you can direct.

All I ask is that you keep the below cast:

1. Steve Carell is John McDonald

Who doesn't like Steve Carell? NO ONE.
Who doesn't like John McDonald? NO ONE.

Artist representation of Steve Carrel as John McDonald.

It's a perfect match. Carell brings his loveable, everyman persona to the role. That's the exact same persona McDonald has been bringing to the Jays the last few seasons. Let's look at the similarities:
  1. Physically, they're both 5 foot 9, 180lbs
  2. John McDonald rose to popularity as a utility infielder. He may not be a regular starter, but when he does start, everyone loves it due to the obvious effort he puts into the game. Carell rose to popularity as a character comedian. He didn't headline much (at first) but dammit if people didn't love him for the effort he brought to everything.
  3. Both have played 40 year old virgins. Carrel in the film of the same name, and I'm certain McDonald played against Jason Giambi at least once in his career.

2. Ryan Gosling is Aaron Hill

I hate breaking balls

This one was a little tougher to cast, but I think I nailed it.

First there's the physical resemblance (they're both pasty white guys with light eyes and five o'clock shadows).

More importantly people have been saying the following for years:

I love Breaker High

"Aaron Hill is going to be such a great player. Hell, he was an all star back in 2009. Just give him time, he'll mature into a great player." 

With a little creative editing, you can turn the above into this:

"Aaron Hill Ryan Gosling is going to be such a great player leading man. Hell, he was an all star Golden Globe nominee back in 2009. Just give him time, he'll mature into a great player the next Marlon Brando." 

We all know neither of the above sentences are true.  

 3. This guy is Juan Rivera

I don't even know his name. I think he was in Mr. Deeds and maybe Stargate. He usually plays the weird guy that is probably slightly evil. Methinks it's perfect casting. 

4. Lee Majors is John Farrell

It's times like these I wish John Gibbons was still coaching the team. There are any number of redneck character actors out there who'd be able to fill his role quite handily. Farrell is a little tougher, a little too soon to tell who he truly is. Plus his head is a little too big and his hair a little too full for Gerald McRaney to play him. So by default, let's go with Lee Majors.

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHA I can't wait for Part II
    Good job !