8 Ways to Drive Traffic to your Blog by Writing about 8 Ways to Drive Traffic to your Blog

Why do people blog?
Because people need to be told by others how good they are in order to feel any sense of self worth.

But what do you do when you're blogging and people aren't flocking to your exciting, witty posts about the misadventures of Bob Seger cover band "Looking Back" or ex-Blue Jay utility outfielder Juan Rivera? Without traffic, how can you feel loved? How can you get the attention you need to give meaning to your miserable life?

Well you could post an ad on Craigslist.

Or you could do what everyone else does. A tactic that has been proven successful time and time again.

You could write a blog post about how other people can get more people to read their blog posts.

Confused? Well don't be, it's easy. Read on to learn how it's done.

Who will Play the 2011 Blue Jays? Part 1

(Part 2 can be found here, Part 3 can be found here)

A number of people have asked where I've been the last few days.

Well, I have some good news for all Blue Jays fans out there.

After months of preparation, my 2011 Toronto Blue Jays-centric screenplay is complete.

And damn is it good. I mean really good. Like, Oscar-worthy good.

Now normally I'd feel comfortable directing this myself. It's my baby and all. But it's so good that I'd be comfortable handing it off to someone with a little bit more experience.

What's that, Terrence Malick? Tree of Life bombed at Cannes? Sure you can direct.

All I ask is that you keep the below cast:

1. Steve Carell is John McDonald

Who doesn't like Steve Carell? NO ONE.

Who doesn't like John McDonald? NO ONE.



Artist representation of Steve Carrel as John McDonald.



Are the Blue Jays Replacing Juan Rivera with ROBOT JUAN RIVERA?

Japanese news reports their best robot scientists are working on replacing the Blue Jays' struggling Rivera with a Rivera robot.
Apparently the robot Juan Rivera will take a robot bride, who will be fluent in the songs of Bob Seger.
I, for one, welcome this new addition. Your thoughts?

EXCLUSIVE: Edwin Encarnacion Interview

Our latino sister site - "Flaming Phoenix of Flames Muy Caliente!" was recently granted an exclusive interview with Blue Jays superstar, Edwin Encarnacion. He answers all the tough questions, including his thoughts on Juan Rivera, as well as his thoughts on Doug Flutie.

EMERGENCY JUAN RIVERA NEWS

Finally, proof that Blue Jays utility man Juan "El Tigrillo" Rivera is ushering in the end of days. In my dedicated research I stumbled across this video, obviously used to train youths for his militia.

At the 0:26 mark he lists off the guns apparently arming the Rivera youth.

At 0:37, he baits and corrupts the young with visions of sweet sweet Tecate.

I believe, as seen at 1:15 of the video, he will refrer the the first stage of the Rivera rapture as the "explosion nortena". I don't know what that means, but stay vigilant friends.

PLEASE NOTE: I do not speak Mexican, and therefore cannot fully translate what is happening in this video, and only make educated guesses based on my knowledge of Juan Rivera's nefarious nature. If any Mexican speaking readers can fill me in, please do so in the comments below.

Juan Rivera Weekly News Round-Up

It was a busy weekend for utility player/untrustworthy monster Juan Rivera.

First, his career as a Mexican folk singer turned drug lord was uncovered by this very blog on Sunday.

What strikes this reporter is the fact that Rivera is so proud of his unsavory extra-curricular activities.

Toronto Blue Jays 2011 Pre-Season Report Card Part 1

It's that time of year, baseball fans!

"What time of year?" you ask.
"Baseball time!" comes my reply.

Also, the Toronto Blue Jays are ready to return to dominance in the American League East.

Doubtful? I don't blame you. However I know more about baseball than you, therefore you are wrong.

To explain why, look at this report card I did for them, similar to what they do in real newspapers.