Thursday, April 14, 2011

Is Mike McCoy the new Rance Mulliniks?

In a word, no.

                                 Mike McCoy                                       Rance Mulliniks

In my in-depth dissection of the Toronto Blue Jay infield, I compared new utility infielder McCoy to the legendary moustachioed fan favourite Rance Mulliniks. As I pointed out then, McCoy has a long way to go to reach Rance status.  

For 10 years Mulliniks was the unsung hero of your Toronto Blue Jays, and damn he could play. Take a look at these surprising stats:

  • a higher career batting average (0.280) than first baseman Fred McGriff (0.278)
  • a better career on base percentage (0.365) than lead off hitter Devon White (0.327)
  • more career RBIs (389) than Roberto Alomar (342)
  • former television play-by-play announcer Jim Hughson prefaced Rance’s name with “wily veteran” over 1200 times
  • a better first name and last name (Rance & Mulliniks) than World Series hero Joe Carter (Joe & Carter)
Mike McCoy might come the closest to capturing Mulliniks’ magic, but he lacks a certain je ne sais quoi – namely due to the fact that he doesn’t look like Jeffery Dalmer if he was an accountant. And it’s way too early to tell how much Rance he has in him. He’s just a few years out of high school. All I know is that the Blue Jays need a Rance more than anything right now. And as unpopular an opinion as this may be, I’d like to see McCoy undergo extensive genetic modification. I want scientists to merge his DNA with Rance's, and then throw some cyborg implants into the mix. Also, Tiny Lister's arms, legs and torso should be used.

Until we have this perfect baseball specemin, the Blue Jays will be lacking.

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